转会和比赛一样都是由电话决定的

“喂,请问是拉总么?”,拉波尔塔办公桌上的电话响起了。

“嘿,您好,我是胡安,请问您是?”

“我是你永远的朋友,不变的伙伴,马西莫啊,您还记得上次我们在Nike酒会上见过面的啊。”

“哦,莫二叔,是你啊。有什么可以帮助您的?”

“我没什么,只是前几天听Figo说起,您最近很苦恼啊。我来慰问一下,帮您排解排解,你知道要不是三年前,我联系了电信局,我怕是苦恼了20年。这不刚好到电信局长家做客,看到免费的电话,就给您打一个来。”

“莫二叔,您真仗义,不愧是春教首席护法,信春哥,得永生啊。”

“嘘,小声点,最近我发觉我身边的人已经入了曾门了,你知道曾门么,据说曾门跟史泰龙有亲戚关系的。”

“哦,这样啊,放心,我萨12万会员会帮你祈福的。”

“唉,会员制真好啊,什么不干,光收会费就百万入账,还不算买球衣,订球票。哪像我,整个俱乐部跟吸血鬼一样的压榨我,我都快被我大哥开除族籍了。”

“二叔,你不在这个位置,不知道我的难处啊。12万人闹起来,我连小命都保不住。”

“咦,听你这口气,好像很不顺啊。你萨可是新晋三冠王啊,会员还有什么不满意的?”

“呸,现在谁在乎我这三冠啊,所有的风头都被佩雷斯那老B头子抢走了。东撬您对门,北上搞C·罗,连本泽马这种都不放过,各个还都是大手笔,所有的目光都被他拉走了。整个12万会员都跟我这吵呢,要我买人买人。TNND,眼看着老子任期要满了,该拿的也拿了,正要跑路去大区议会混呢,这当口整这么一出,愁死了。”

“我靠,你说佩雷斯,我还没找他算帐呢,七年前,愣是把我心爱的干儿子挖走了,然后又连续处理好多个高薪给我,让我供着。”

“可不咋地,我正想辙买两个人平平民愤。你也知道,被佩雷斯这么一折腾,全球有名有姓的球员身价都上来了,我连去中超挖人的心思都有了。”

“兄弟,要稳,莫慌,可不能病急乱投医啊,中超全是Chinese Kungfu Master,给钱少了,就当上球霸整你呢。”

“那可咋整啊,我都愁死了。二叔,您道行深,又跟贝秃子打交道20年了,能不能教我两招。”

“马了个八字的,我要是有那智商教你,我能被狗日的神圣同盟欺负这么多年么?除了买人,真没别的招了。”

“这个,真没有可以买的球员了……”

“这个可以有。你可知道,在那遥远的斯堪的纳维亚半岛上,有一支足坛奇葩。他身长六尺,英眉剑目,俏唇钩鼻,一双招风耳,扇得天下安;两只天蝎脚,甩遍宇宙门。动如壁虎,静若蜘蛛。少得志,横行尼德兰。遂助都灵斑马登顶亚平宁。恰逢电话,被蓝黑蛇招致麾下。屡建奇功,平定意大利。自诩天下第一,无人可匹。人称‘东汉吕布,瑞典伊布’。此等强人,相信足以平息民愤的。”

“合着您是来推销的啊?”

“拉弟,话不能这么说。其实你也知道我的心病了,迟迟不得在欧冠上扬眉吐气,光扫平尤文、米兰对我而言,根本无法同家严相提并论。而这伊布,欧冠上屡屡不得破门之术,薪水又高,我这钱花的心疼啊。俗话说‘树挪死,人挪活’,兴许他去了你萨就能扬名立万,笑傲江湖了。我又省了笔钱,你也掌握了民调。况且,每个赛季都会上演两场伊布+梅西PK卡卡+C·罗的大戏,这套票卖得还不是杠杠的,转播费还不是炒得哗哗的?这是双赢的事啊。”

“呃……这个嘛,我手头上现在能挪用的也就30M,一下子用掉了,剩下一个月可帐目上不好交代啊。你看这样行么,我出15M+我萨的大嘴,换你的伊布,如何?”

“这,怕是不合适吧,你想伊布心气那么高,一看到自己才值15M+一个改了年龄的前锋,跟同龄的两个金球一比,难免有怨言啊。”

“那我再搭一个赫莱布吧,说好了啊,赫莱布是租借,我这边厢要是下赛季推倒重建,兴许还用得到白俄罗斯人呢。”

“现在那些个白痴媒体+弱智球迷,只认得cash,没人关心搭头,何况这搭头也没啥吸引力。要不你看这样好不好,您帮忙一次性把大嘴的两年税前工资帮我交了,然后加上15M和租借的赫莱布,一共是40M+大嘴+租借赫莱布。这样你有面子,又成功解套了,还不用受会员指责,又把媒体吸引力拉回到你三冠王这来,多划算啊。”

“这样听起来,我很亏啊,我一下子负担两个高薪球员的薪水……”

“伊布这种朝三暮四的主,不会看的那么长远,您忽悠他一年税后的钱比我多给几十万,他就乐屁颠屁颠了。再说了,这钱也不是你的,都是银行和会员的。你不弄个把人来压服他们,你以后咋圈钱来跟皇马搞军备竞赛?这就叫舍不得孩子套不到狼,舍不得媳妇抓不到流氓。”

“二叔,您太有道了。我这就准备合同去。”

“先别急着声张,我还得去忽悠伊布去,省得还得给他一笔遣散费呢。”

“那您抓紧办,我急着通知媒体煽呼呢。”

“OK,保持电联。”

“Hasta pronto!”

“Ci vediamo presto!”

Smilie Vote is loading.

转会和比赛一样都是由电话决定的》有78个想法

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